Dear Future Homemakers of America,
    I'll one day be have to tell my child that, in the day's before cable 
television, adolescent males used to watch Benny Hill to get their required 
dosage of soft porn.  Jenny worries about explaining to our offspring, that
as an 18 year old, I briefly experimented with an illegal substance.  I'm
more worried about explaining about how I used to actually look forward to 
Love Boat, followed by Fantasy Island. Ah how exited I used to be about
Saturday night.  I still remember the Fantasy Island - Love Boat cross over
episode. I believe it starred Barbi Benton (of course) as the unhappy
Love Boat passenger, who goes to Fantasy Island to find the fulfillment, she
didn't get at sea.  I can recall what Vicki said as Barbie Benton disembarked.
She commented about her unhappiness, and how she had heard she was going to
Fantasy Island, and she hoped she had better luck there.  Do you remember Vicki.
I wonder if Fred Grandy is taking her calls now?
   Speaking of television, last month I caught myself whistling the theme
song from What's Happening.  I became frightened, crawled into the closet, 
and ate nothing but No-doze and crackers for 2 days.


                                                              ---Ollie