The DCFuture Underground Fan Fiction Group acknowledges that DC Comics owns the name Damage and ALL DC-created characters and retains complete rights to said characters. These concepts are used WITHOUT permission for NO PROFIT, but rather a strong desire to peer into the future of the DCU. We also acknowledge that the concepts and original characters introduced here are the intellectual property of the author. ** The events in this issue take place during the Adventures of Superman:DCF Issue #6 The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. -- Lily Tomlin Damage DCF One-Shot "What I did on my Vacation" Written by Oliver Kiemschies Edited by Jason Tippitt Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster Superman: DCF created by Tony Wilson Adventures of Superman: DCF #5, #6 & #7 Written by Schuyler Bush Chapter 1: Vacation All You Ever Wanted Metropolis Ritz-Yi-Carlton Autumn 2212 The bellhop opened the door to the penthouse suite of the high-rise hotel. "Here you are, Mr. Loeb." "Thanks," said Jack as he accepted the key. Sarah entered the room carrying Lori. Lori's eyes opened wide when she saw the opulent suite. "This our new house?" questioned the 2 1/2 year-old. "No, sweetheart, we're just staying here for a little while," answered Jack. "When we go to new house?" Sarah shot Jack a loaded glance. "Yes, Daddy, when are we going to our new house?" The bellhop interrupted the awkward silence. "I've put your bags away for you, sir." Sarah leaned towards Jack. "Mr. big, strong super-hero couldn't carry his own bags; he's got to have an eighteen-year-old carry them for him," she whispered. "Hey, hey incognito, remember." "Yes, sir, all put away," commented the young man, obviously fishing for a tip. Jack leaned back toward Sarah. "How much do rich people tip?" "Probably not much; that's how they get rich." "What if they got rich by stealing it all?" Sarah shrugged. Jack guessed at an amount and gave the creds to the young man. "Jumping Elvis! Thanks!" exclaimed the excited youth as he left the room. "I guess that was too much," Sarah concluded. "For that much money, he should unpack our bags for us." "Oh, honey, they don't do that anymore. Anyway, I don't want a stranger going through my stuff." "Why? We have nothing to hide, other than maybe our real identities." "Real good job on that, by the way. A pair of glasses? Couldn't you even change your hair?" "I did! I dyed it." "Clever, you dyed your hair exactly the same color it was before." "Hey, I bleached it; it's lighter than before." He looked into a mirror. "It's lighter, a little lighter, it's a blonder... reddish... slightly blonder... mostly red...... damn invulnerability." "Relax, dear. Now you know you don't have to worry about someone from your rouges' gallery attacking you with a bad dye job." "I just love our little chats." "You mean the playful banter? I think it makes us like Hepburn and Tracy." "Which one was the guy?" "Hepburn, I think?" Before more playful banter could ensue, a knock came to the door. "I'd better get that; it might be a super-villain or something." Jack opened the door, and was greeted by familiar friends. "Teri? Metallo? My God, what the hell are you doing here?" "Hell! Hell! Hell!" came a small voice from the back of the room. Jack turned to see Lori standing at the entrance to one of the bedrooms. She began running around the suite repeating what she had heard. "Hell! Hell! Hell!" Jack chased after her. "No, no, Daddy didn't mean to say that word, sweetheart." "Hell! Hell! Hell!" could be heard from one of the bedrooms, as Jack chased here into it." "Come on in," Sarah said to Metallo and Teri. The pair entered, and once the door was shut behind them Metallo's pigment changed from the skin tone it had been before, to his usual silver color. "By the way, Metallo, great job on the pigment." "Thank you; I've been using more iron." "I hope we're not intruding?" Teri questioned "No, we've had plenty of time to ourselves the past few months. It's great to see you guys. But what brings you two strange visitors to Metropolis?" Teri and Metallo looked at each other, uncertain about how to respond. "Well, I've always wanted to meet Superman," Teri lied unconvincingly. Chapter 2: Attack of the Super-Beasts ***** The Ace of Clubs Clark dropped his mug on the floor. "Alfred... did you just see..." "A large pink giraffe sort of creature with large wings just walk by?" the robotic butler asked. "Uhm, yes..." "In fact I did. And may I add how relieved I am to discover that I'm not the only one seeing such apparitions. I was afraid my optic sensors were on the fritz." *** Metropolis Ritz-Yi-Carlton "You guys haven't really bought that much stuff, you know, considering you're rich and all," Teri commented as she helped Sarah unpack. Sarah shot a steely glance at Jack. "Well, we don't really want to get too much stuff until we settle down somewhere." "Uh... Metallo, there's something in the other room that I need help with," said Jack, attempting to avoid the situation. "Oh oh, trouble," Teri observed. "I'm sorry you'll have to excuse me. I've got enough hormones running through me to kill a rhino," she said, indicating the growing bulge in her abdominal region. "At least I'm not having morning sickness with this one. With Lori, I was constantly losing my breakfast." The natural color began to run from Teri's cheeks, and a faint tinge of green began to replace it, as Sarah continued. "I mean it was puke, puke, puke. It seemed everything would make me lose it. Smells were the worst. I remember Jack once made this dinner with broccoli and mushrooms..." Teri quickly pushed past Sarah and ran to the bathroom. Soon she began to do the very things Sarah had been talking about. "Teri, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I would make you that sick," said Sarah as she followed Teri. "I thought, you know, being a super hero and all, you'd have a stronger stomach. I mean, what with all that training, it seems odd a little talk could make a Justice Leaguer...." Teri looked back up at Sarah. "It shouldn't be able to make you sick, should it?" Guilt flashed over Teri's face. "Oh, my God.... You're pregnant." "Aunt Teri having a baby like Mommy?" questioned a young voice behind Sarah. Sarah turned around quickly to see her daughter standing behind her. "Lori, honey, Mommy didn't see you standing behind her." Elsewhere in the Suite Jack and Metallo sat in the study as Metallo caught Jack up on Horse's most recent activities. "Dear God, they put THAT in their Iced Tea?" "And worse. When the information we obtained hit the open market, the company took a nose-dive, including their stock. We made a killing, and people aren't drinking THAT in iced tea anymore. It was a win/win situation." "Damn, I used to love iced tea." "I suggest making your own." "So other than scaring me with iced tea stories, why are you really here?" "I'm worried about Teri, and what happened at Ross-Tech." "You mean about the whole programming thing?" "Jack, she killed over thirty men." "That wasn't her; it was Justice League programming." "Tell that to Julie Crawford, and the other Ross-Tech guards that now work with us." "They harbor a grudge?" "There's definitely tension there. Even though they didn't know the men Teri killed, they're still uncomfortable around her." "How's Teri taking it?" "She was doing better for a while. She was actually seeing a deprogrammer to deal with any latent Justice League tampering." "Then what happened?" "Recently she's been behaving strangely. She constantly runs to the bathroom for no apparent reason. She's having horrible mood swings. I have no idea what's going on with her." "DADDY, DADDY, guess what?" shouted Lori as she ran into the room. "Lori, no!" shouted Teri and Sarah as they ran behind her. "Teri gots a baby coming too!" Teri and Lori came to a dead stop after Lori uttered the words. Metallo stood and turned toward Teri. Jack turned toward his daughter. "*HAS* sweetheart, Teri *HAS* a baby coming, not gots," said Jack, correcting his daughter. "Teri?" questioned Metallo. "Yes, it's true. I didn't know how to tell you." "But... how?" he continued. "I don't know. You two are the science geeks; you tell me." "Well, I do try to simulate human responses when we copu.." "Ah-hem," interrupted Jack, reminding Metallo a child was present. "Ah, yes, well, I try to simulate human responses when we have relations. I have actually written several sub-routines which I run internally." "Oh, stop, you make it sound so romantic," chimed Sarah. "I am also made largely of sub-microscopic nano-machines. It's possible you were impregnated with some nano-machines, which contain my long chain coding." "Giving her a bit of the ol' long chain coding, eh?" commented Jack, hoping it would go over Lori's head. "But, how could that work? Your coding would have to be somewhat similar to human genetics?" Teri asked as she smacked Jack in the back of the head. "It actually is. That's how my nano-machines are so stable, and why I'm not a big silver puddle on the floor," commented Metallo. "So what does that mean about our baby?" "I could do a scan. I do have some of the planet's most sophisticated scanning equipment." "It won't hurt the baby?" "I can do this more benignly than your doctor," said Metallo as he extruded a small scanner on his right hand. He approached his love and knelt down. Sarah and Jack felt a bit uncomfortable intruding on this private moment, but couldn't tear themselves away. Metallo ran his scan for a few moments. The scanner melded back into his hand, and he looked up at Teri with an ear to ear grin (literally). "There is some meta-genetic activity. That really isn't very surprising. Overall, it's perfectly healthy. It's going to be fine." "And you?" asked Teri. "And I'm going to be a father." Metallo stood up. "Teri, I... I belong in this world." "Maybe we should leave them alone?" asked Sarah. "Definitely." Jack picked up Lori, and they walked into the kitchen. *** The Kitchen "Pregnant by a robot... there's something you don't hear about every day," said Sarah as they walked into the kitchen. "Get used to it; weird stuff happens to super-heroes." "Hey, there's already food in here," commented Sarah as she looked around kitchen. "That's first-class for you." "Aahh!" exclaimed Sarah as she jumped back from a lower cabinet. "Does first class include a mouse?" "Seriously?" "Yes, now perform your male duty and get rid of that mouse." "This is 2112, and you still need a man to get rid of a mouse?" "It was big, and I swear it was green." "Been hitting the mini-bar have we?" Sarah took Lori away from Jack. "Just get the mouse." "Here I come to save the day," announced Jack. Jack knelt down and began to look through the cabinet in question. "Green mouse, my... hey, it *IS* green." "I told you. What was that you said earlier about weird things happening to super-heroes?" "Here, little mousy mousy mous--" Jack was cut off as he suddenly shoot up, and through the cabinet, coming to a crashing halt against the wall on the other side of the room. "JACK!" screamed Sarah as she shielded Lori from the exploding countertop. Metallo and Teri came running into the room. "What the hell did you do Jack?" exclaimed Teri. "It was the mouse!" "Come again?" "It was that green mouse," said Jack, indicating the mouse crawling through the wreckage. "It's green," said a surprised Metallo as he approached it. "Be careful, I.. uh.. think it.. has.. superpowers," said Jack meekly. The others turned away from the mouse to look at Jack. "Well, it knocked me through the damn counter." "Jack, are you sure it didn't just frighten you, and you leapt back through the cabinet?" To answer Metallo's question, the mouse levitated from the floor until it was floating behind Metallo. "Well, Dr. Freud, turn around." Metallo turned around, and found himself eye-to-eye with a flying mouse. "Superpowers! Most definitely a yes on the superpowers." The mouse turned and slowly floated toward Jack. "I think it likes you," commented Teri. "Metallo, get them out of here; I'll keep it occupied." "I'll be right back to back you up," said Metallo as he slowly herded the others out of the room. The mouse turned toward them, and its eyes began to glow red. "Hey, Mickey Martian, over here!" shouted Jack covering the escape of his family and friends. "That's right, cheese sniffer, I'm right here. Now let's be a good little rodent, and let me get a hold of you," said Jack, as he reached out and grabbed the mouse. The mouse shot out of the room and out of the hotel, with Jack still holding on to it. "Waasss iiit the cheeessse sniiiiifer craaack?" Finally the mouse freed itself from Jack's grasp, and he began to plummet to the earth. He was able to telekinetically slow himself enough so that when he crashed into the parked car on the street below, he was only rendered unconscious for a few minutes. He awoke when an ebony armored fist grabbed him and pulled him from the wreckage. "You!" shouted Obsidian. "Me!" replied a groggy Jack. "Because of you, my brain was cross-wired for a week. I still have nightmares that I'm riding a tricycle during my Justice League Academy graduation." "I'm sorry?" "If it weren't for this attack..." "Attack?" "Haven't you been watching the news? We happen to be under attack from Daxamite animals." "Daxam... hey, that's that Superman planet, isn't it?" "You see the problem this might cause." "I actually was attacked by a Daxamite rodent." Obsidian smiled. "You just got beaten up by a mouse." "Hey, it was a super-mouse." "Well, what did you do with it?" "It got away." He looked up into the direction he had last seen the creature. "It was flying in that direction." Something in the sky caught Jack and Obsidian's attention. "Something's coming." "Oh, crap, it's coming back," Jack managed to say before the mouse struck him in the chest, sending him careening down the street. Jack slid down the street, until he finally came to a stop. He was trying to stand when a searing heat, emanating from the mouse's eyes, struck him. He instinctively leapt upward to try to get away from the heat, and pushed himself higher telekinetically. Utilizing his power, he began to get greater distance from the mouse. 'I'm not running from a mouse,' he lied to himself, 'I just need some distance to clear my head.' Jack looked back and saw the mouse in pursuit, and gaining quickly. 'Okay, now I'm running from a mouse,' he thought as he poured on more speed. The thought of running from a flying rodent somehow seemed odd to Jack. 'What would Batman think?' he considered. The mouse struck Jack like a cannonball, and he began to plummet to the earth. He landed in a full dumpster in the back of an alley. He was pulling himself from garbage, when he noticed the green mouse staring at him from the entrance to the alleyway. "Don't tell me you have some kind of grudge?" commented an exasperated Jack. "Is it cheese you want? How about a theme park in Orlando?" Jack's pleas were interrupted by a hungry alley resident. A scruffy orange cat began to slink toward the mouse, hungry growls emanating from somewhere deep in its chest. It was joined by an equally mangy brown cat. Soon a yellow, and a gray cat joined. The alley was filled with the noises of the cats. Red beams shot from the mouse's eyes, and soon in the place of the cats were piles of ash. "You never stood a chance, cats. Unless someone brings a super-cat...." Jack paused as an idea struck him. The mouse was distracted by the piles of ash, allowing Jack to leap into the air and begin to push himself as high as his powers would allow. The mouse followed. Jack began to survey the area. He found an abandoned police personnel carrier. Jack swooped down and smashed through one of the windows, quickly grabbed a portable radio, and continued out of the vehicle before his pursuer could catch up. Jack set the radio for broad spectrum broadcast. "Metallo, come in; are you listening, Metallo..." "I'm always listening, Jack," came a reply. "It's one of the advantages of the Broad RF-active spectrum analyzing array I've installed in myself; it allows..." "I'm not really interested in the HAM radio; have you been monitoring the situation in the city?" "Yes, Jack, it's all over the news. This explains your mouse." "You don't say. I need you to find something for me. Maybe I can kill two birds with one stone." The confused rodent continued to follow the annoyance. The meek creature was confused by the feeling of power. Nature told it to flee. It was programmed to avoid conflict. But now it seethed. It seethed with power. It seethed with rage. As solar energy from a yellow star filled the animal's cells, its timid instincts began to give way to an aggressive side that was new to the creature. If such concepts could be applied to its simple mind, it could be said the mouse reveled in its new role in the food chain. The pair flew on, with Jack pushing his limited flight ability to its limits. Occasionally, as was consistent with his powers, he would find himself elsewhere. He was a test pilot, in various late 20th century jets. The jets seemed new; experimental, actually, and were prone to malfunction. As the various components failed, the fearless test pilot utilized what limited resources he had, to control the aircraft. Utilizing that type of resourcefulness, Jack found he could use his pursuer, by mentally pushing against it, keeping himself in front of it. He would occasionally change directions, causing the slow-witted animal to lose ground as it had to turn. Its ability to accelerate, however, outstripped Jack's ability to push against it, and eventually the creature would catch him. Jack maneuvered skillfully around the city, keeping his pursuer at bay. Simultaneously he searched. Metallo had clued him in as to the whereabouts of some much-needed help. Jack noticed a flash of red, and knew he was approaching his savior. He sped towards the target. As he came closer, he could make out his helper. It was a bit different in appearance. His aide was bright red, with green spots and short antlers, but there was no mistaking it. In front of Jack was a Daxamite cat. As the mouse closed in on him, Jack yanked himself downward. The mouse continued on until it struck the feline. The mouse and the cat froze. Time seemed to stand still, as the mouse was reminded of its place in the food chain. Soon the mouse rocketed upward with the cat in hot pursuit. The pair was beyond Jack's ability to see them. "Later, Tom. Later, Jerry." Jack lowered himself, exhausted from the chase. He didn't think he could keep himself aloft for another second. Jack sat down on the pavement. 'Just rest for a moment, and then get out there and help with the rest of the super-zoo,' he told himself. Jack suddenly felt the need to put his head between his knees. He didn't fight the urge. 'Just some rest, and maybe some throwing up, too.' *** Ritz-Yi-Carlton Hotel Penthouse Suite Sarah, Teri, Lori, and Metallo watched on the news reports as the super-beasts fled the planet. Hotel maintenance robots scurried about, repairing the damage to the suite. "Did Daddy chase the animals away?" "I think he had a bit of help," answered Sarah. "Why are they leaving?" asked Teri. "I'm picking up various confused broadcasts. Some kind of alien presence in the upper atmosphere is involved." "Alien? More problems?" Metallo shook his head. "There was some kind of emergency in orbit, but I'm getting reports that Superman has it under control." The door opened, and an exhausted Jack shuffled in. "Here I come to save the day," he mumbled before he fell on the couch. "Are you okay, honey?" Jack propped his head up on his elbows. "I'm exhausted. I just played cat and mouse with a mouse. He was the cat. I almost lost." "Did you beat it?" "I outsmarted it. I finally outsmarted a mouse that was kicking the snot out of me. I'm not very proud of this. Let's not talk of it again. I really need some sleep." "If it's any consolation, all the other animals have left," added Metallo. "Yes, about two minutes after I outwitted the rodent, I saw all the other animals all flying away, anyway. I really feel about as useful as the color white in Justice's closet." Jack let his face fall in the pillows. "I don't feel like meeting Superman right now. I think you understand," Jack muttered through the pillows. Lori approached her father and patted him on the head. "Daddy go night-night now." "Excellent suggestion," he countered. Sarah frowned. "I'll start packing again. Any idea of where we're going this time, oh gypsy prince?" "New York sounds like fun," Jack commented. "I've always wanted to visit Warrior's Bar." *** Epilog The Great Asteroid field of the Sol system The mouse zipped through the craters of a Texas-sized asteroid. The cat flew straight into it. As Beast Boy unleashed his spell on the Daxamite animals on Earth, these two, far outside his range, continued on unabated. As the cat was slowed by tunneling through the rock, the mouse veered upward, at a ninety- degree angle to our solar system. The cat recovered and continued its pursuit, taking the pair far beyond the reaches of Earth's solar system, and into the vast emptiness of deep space. *** End of One-Shot Coming in Issue Up: I told you Damage wasn't going to disappear. There are plans to use him in another DCF title coming up. Also, I leave him available to other DCF writers. If you have an evil corporate giant in your title that you want to take down a peg or two, you might want to consider utilizing Horse. Visit the Letters Column at: http://home.sprintmail.com/~olliejk/Fan_letters.html Suggested Music for this Issue: Chapter 2) Attack of the Super-Beasts Memphis Exorcism by Squirrel Nut Zippers